It's that time of year again. You've planned it for months in advance; perfected the sit-and-zip suitcase method; matched all of your bikinis with a pair of sandals and wailed Cliff Richard's 'Summer Holiday' the entire way to the airport. We've all been there, every year is the same old malarky which leads up to the week of sizzling in the sun to cure all of our jet-lag related worries. I've recently just returned from a week in Portugal, and I met a (slightly sunburned) Irish lady who nailed it in a sentence: "It's like being a celebrity for a week or two." Or twelve, if you consider her marvelous tan.
But despite our love for travel and treats, take away the burning ball of fire, the crushed up rock and the slurring accents which make you weak at the knees and we're left with an awfully familiar game of Where's Wally. There's always that one person who turns up on your every holiday. They may have changed their name, hairstyle and nationality but they're there. Sometimes there's even multiple of them. And they're in an airport near you.
The Thompson Airways Glamour Girl - As the saying goes, the holiday starts in the airport. We all know her; strutting her stuff (with a slight limp) down the runway/toilet queues with the highest heels known to mankind. We couldn't wear them on a night out, but that girl owns them even on the go. A face full of makeup and the occasional trip over her own suitcase, and the package is complete. For me, I think flats are my go-to companion, but you have to admire her almighty balance skills.
The Stripper - It's the same old routine at security checks, and we all know the drill, except for him. We all know him. Belt? Check. Five different electrical items? Check. Six hundred metal parts dangling from his body? Of course. Five hours and a missed plane later, he has finally stripped his way down to metal detector perfection. And of course, you're behind him in line.
The Red Man - Usually British and occupying a red patch where he forgot to put suncream. We feel his pain.
Speedo's #1 Fan - Sporting this season's collection of unacceptably small and blindingly bright pants is... The man on the sunbed right in front of you.
The Pervy Waiter - Is he looking at you? Yes. Is he looking at your sister? Yes. Is he looking at every other woman who passes his way? Yes. Is he drooling slightly on your pasta? Yes.
The Instagram Girl - Often spotted taking photo's of her legs by the pool, taking High School Musical inspired jumping shots on the beach and pouting her life away. No sheer spot of daylight is safe from the beady eyes of the iPhone.
The Karaoke Connoisseur - There's always one. And she always ends up dancing on top of the bar.
In the wise words of my nameless new Irish friend: "by the time you're back, you'll need another holiday."
Who do you always seem to find on your hols?
Storm x
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